Video

freddashdog:

Grandpa gets a surprise bulldog puppy for his birthday, something he’s always wanted.

It’s pure happiness for both of them

(via perpetuallyidyllic)

Source: freddashdog
Text

If something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot twist!” and move on.

Photo Set

namaste-sierra:

there’s something magical about Broadway. The audiences are smart, they’re educated. They go in ready and they’re up for it, they’re up for the party. It’s a whole different atmosphere.’
             ∟  Hugh Jackman

(via ceo-of-pixar)

Source: haymitcth
Text

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via wearing-sammy-to-the-prom)

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anuvia:

cinnamonfart:

"OH MY GOD FROZEN DISNEY ONLY EVER DOES MOVIES ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE THEY’RE SO RACIST I HATE THEM"

Disney only does movies about white people.
It’s disgusting

How they never have

any people of color

from any other cultures

And they totally glorify the white man

And totally marginalize their plights

And overall refuses to give children of color characters to relate to

Those racist bastards.

anuvia:

cinnamonfart:

"OH MY GOD FROZEN DISNEY ONLY EVER DOES MOVIES ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE THEY’RE SO RACIST I HATE THEM"

Disney only does movies about white people.

It’s disgusting

How they never have

any people of color

from any other cultures

And they totally glorify the white man

And totally marginalize their plights

And overall refuses to give children of color characters to relate to

Those racist bastards.

(via wearing-sammy-to-the-prom)

Source: cinnamonfart
Photo Set
Text

wingsofawinchester:

misscontraption:

mitunathehelicaptor:

tagging nsfw is hilarious like it’s just like you’re in a room with a shitload of people and you shout PORN and then some people cover their eyes and others stare at you in anticipation

image

[AVENUE Q FANDOM JUMPS OUT OF A BUSH WITH AN ARMFUL OF PUPPETS] 

(via wearing-sammy-to-the-prom)

Source: kaitokirishima
Text

vardaesque:

seahchel:

vardaesque:

whorville:

You finger yourself??? Disgusting. Those fingers should be turning pages of the holy bible

gotta get em wet before you turn the pages tho

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

this is going to be the text post that sends me straight to hell isnt it

(via horny-yunikorn)

Source: whorville
Chat
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Source: thisisanatattack
Video

tyleroakley:

pearlsandalexandrites:

I think I watched this on my iPad in algebra 2 for two straight weeks on repeat.

the verse that saved rap music

(via brbfrolickingwithyou)

Source: juhvaad